Doesn't make sense

I'm sitting in Commons Dining Hall, and suddenly a mysterious tune popped into my head. It was an incessant melody, like an iPod stuck on replay, but I couldn't figure out what it was. A little frustrated by this tip-of-the-tongue tune, I brought my [not insignificant] powers of analysis to bear on this tease of a melody. I play it in my head. I hum it out loud. I annoy my tablemates.

And then I got it. The epiphany was as glorious as a unicorn sailing over a rainbow.

The song was from the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, specifically that of the Green Ranger's dragon flute. He played the tune to call forth the mighty Green Dragonzord, which was the most powerful zord in history, and could kick the shit out of everything.

The Dragonzord's prowess, however, introduces some serious conundrums to the Power Rangers Megaverse, including, but not limited to: "how did the Power Rangers ever defeat the Green Ranger when he was evil?", "how was the Green Ranger NOT the leader of the Power Rangers?", and "how come the show even existed when it was obvious that the Dragonzord could easily devastate any enemy that came along?"

These are indeed difficult questions, but they are answerable: the Green Ranger was under mind control, so the Power Rangers never had to defeat HIM, just to overcome the mind control; the Green Ranger was as kind and generous as he was powerful, and so wanted the Red Ranger to feel better; and the show was all about defeating every enemy so it was fine to have an overpowered Zord.

Well, the answer to the third question leads to the most puzzling paradox of all--how, in the name of Zordon, did the fusion of the Megazord and Dragonzord end up WEAKER than the Dragonzord by itself?????

Seriously, though, they only combine when the Megazord is kidding its butt kicked, and then after they combine, they STILL get their butt kicked. I would expect a combined Mega Dragonzord to be something a LOT more badass. Something like this.

Zordon texted me the other day. It said, "u haz teh powerz. here's the dragon flute for your entertainment. protect us from mega shark!"

Just...wow.

Rudy Giuliani's moment of genius. Check link below for a good laugh (or cry).

As we all know, President Bush struck fear into the hearts of terrorists; his iron stance against their terroristic ways and his adamant intolerance of their activities completely and solely were the causes of the absolute absence of domestic attacks under his glorious reign. Clearly, President Obama, being soft on terrorism like the bleeding-heart liberal that he is, does not instill the same fear into these criminal elements. As such, hardly a year into his regime, there has already been one domestic attack!

The shoebomber, the anthrax scare, the DC sniper, and--oh, yes, 9/11--were random accidents. In fact, one might even say they were natural disasters. Rudy Giuliani would know--his entire campaign was based on "I was there when 9/11 happened."

http://tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/01/rudy-we-had-no-domestic-attacks-under-bush-we-had-one-under-obama.php