Advancing The Knowledge Pool For All Mankind

In an earlier entry, I made the audacious claim of majoring in HowGirlsThinkOlogy (http://thepockymonster.blogspot.com/2007/10/what-i-learned-from-intel.html). To some of you, this seemed like a joke. To others, probably a whim that wouldn't last long. To most of you, I was nuts.

Well, I have decided, since then, to make significant steps in advancing this bold new field of study. To that end, based on the indirect direction of one-who-will-not-be-named-for-the-sake-of-privacy-but-whose-name-rhymes-with-Chessica-Jen-from-a-school-that-rhymes-with-Blontgomery-Mair, I have concocted a scheme that is sure to reveal all sorts of interesting information.

WikiHow, the how-to site that you can edit, provides a plethora of information--but how much of it is reliable? How much is written by a guy who thinks he knows things but actually doesn't because he's not a HowGirlsThinkOlogy major? That is the question that I will try to answer, through this scientifically sound process.

I will paste the entirety of one WikiHow entry--which I now declare is not mine, so that I can't be sued for plagiarism, not that anyone would want to since I have no money for people to win--and I plead, for the sake of science and the edification of the--as Peter Pan tells Wendy Darling--inferior sex (for one girl is worth twenty boys), that any girl/woman/lady/female reading this entry would confirm or deny the truth of the elements in the WikiHow article.

I know this imports to Facebook, because I didn't turn off the import option before taking my FB hiatus. So I know this will be a Facebook note. So, Facebookers, not just the very few people who actually read this blog, please also give your input, via Facebook, or on this blog. The end result will be, hopefully, a true and comprehensive guide to HOW TO TALK TO A GIRL.

1. Be yourself.

2. Bring something up but don't seem too obvious about liking them. When you talk just be yourself, then you can see if the girl likes you for who you really are.

3. Look in her eyes and be serious and not desperate. But if she looks away don't try it again. When she looks away, it's almost always her way of saying "oh great, I don't like you, but how can I be nice about it"

4. Comment on her sense of humor, good taste in music, or prowess on the dance floor. It's all right to compliment her clothes, hair, jewelry, etc., but you'll really win a girl's heart if she sees that you're into more than just her outside.

5. Don't tell girls — for that matter, anyone at all — they have a flaw unless you are obviously poking fun at them, even then only if you know they can take a joke, and know you well enough to know how to react to your teasing. Otherwise you risk putting them off.

6. Be funny. If you can make her laugh, you've as good as got her number then and there.

7. Don't try too hard. Girls will see you as needy and will not be attracted to you.

8. Be confident in yourself and don't be afraid of saying something stupid. If you're not afraid then you probably won't. If you have been friends with her for years, and are comfortable talking pretend you are just talking to her about another girl you like.

9. Make her laugh. Tell her you like her ear rings for example. Maybe if you are sitting next to her you could put an arm around the chair or something. If she clearly does not want you... give up. You will be made fun of by every single girl if she doesn't like you and dumps you in front of everyone. If you want to ask her out,do it in private, people spread rumors.

10. Stop her in the hallway just to give her a hug and tell her she smells nice. Smile and walk away.It will show her that you care enough to stop her and pay attention to details like smell (that makes girls feel uncomfortable when you do it randomly).


Tips
· Always be yourself.
· Never insult a girl unless you know she will take it as a joke.
· Do not touch or talk about her stomach, most girls no matter how thin think they are fat. This is definitely a no-go area as far as girls are concerned.
· Try to get on with her friends as without them on your side you've got no chance.
· No matter what don't leave telling her how you feel for too long. If you think she might like you then ask her out. After all, she can only say no.
· Don't approach her if you know she has a boyfriend, as it is a lost cause (for the time being) and you don't want to offend her boyfriend!


Warnings
· If she doesn't seem happy with you, leave her be for two days without approaching her, that will give her time to cool down and think straight again. After a couple of days she will be ready to talk to you again.
· Never make a comment about her weight! Unless you are incredibly smooth and can turn this into something good.
· Don't talk about other girls in front of her, and never compare her to other girls.
· DONT talk about guy stuff. Most girls would rather you not talk about disturbing topics while they are present!!!!



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Gentlemen, your input is also appreciated. Responses will be duly noted, but generally ignored.

For the sake of science! Let the great pooling of knowledge commence!