So recently, I and several of my former/current classmates received an email from a reporter type person--whose name shall be withheld for privacy reasons--about my activities since being an Intel Semifinalist. After shooting the breeze with one of the aforementioned classmates, Merlyn Deng, whose name will not be revealed for privacy reasons, I decided the following responses would be appropriate. Ethan W., here are the answers you desired. And, for the record, I ask you not to use them in your article:
1. Have you continued working on your project (or similar research)
after becoming an Intel semifinalist?
I have begun a new branch of research, a rather obscure one, actually. A friend of mine brought to my attention that there is, in fact, VERY LITTLE KNOWLEDGE in the field of HowGirlsThinkOlogy. I believe that my efforts in this area will be very beneficial to all mankind, and I hope that my project will soon bear fruit.
2. Did being an Intel semifinalist have any lasting effects?
Being an Intel semifinalist made me realize that incredible diversity in science. Just a couple of years ago, I thought that the only fields that existed were Physics, Chemistry, Earth Science, and Biology. But now I know that some of the lesser fields can be just as useful and rewarding. My own research, for example, in HowGirlsThinkOlogy has incredible potential to bring enlightenment to approximately one half of the world's population.
3. Has the SRP/Intel project prepared you for your academic and
research experiences in college? Why/why not
I think that the SRP/Intel project has prepared me well for my academic and research experiences in college. Academically, I had found that waiting until the night before to finish an important final paper greatly increases efficiency. Interestingly, when I follow such a strategy, my work done per minute greatly overshadows my wpm (work per minute) when following a long term strategy. Research-wise, the approach to science I learned in SRP has been invaluable in setting up my latest project. I came up with a hypothesis and everything.
4. How has your first few months of college been generally? What do
you like/dislike about it? Has it been easy to transition?
Well, my first ONE month of college has been pretty good. Awesome peope, awesome place. I like that it's Yale. I dislike that I have yet to make progress on my research. The transition was very tough for me. What should have been a 5 hour drive turned into 11 because of stupid New York and it's stupid traffic.
5. What kinds of activities, sports and organizations are you involved in?
Well, like I said, I do work in a HowGirlsThinkOlogy lab. Besides that, there are some things that I really enjoy, and would like to do more of. Sleeping and eating come to mind.
6. Have you won any awards or done anything notable so far in college?
In my one month of college, I have won non-shared Nobel Prizes in every field, was awarded the Fields Medal, and cured cancer. Additionally, global warming is now a myth, but I can't claim all the credit on that one. I prayed to the Flying Spaghetti Monster and, well, it worked.
7. What are you planning to major in and why? Has your Intel project
influenced this decision in any way?
Because of my exciting (but thus far, fruitless) research, I feel like a career in studying how members of the opposite sex thinks would be a rewarding way to spend my life.
8. What are your plans for the future?
See above. Other goals include, but are not limited to: finally crossing the river without my oxen dying, finding Waldo, knowing where in the world is Carmen Sandiego, and beat Chuck Norris in rock paper scissors.
9. (Most important question) What is the most interesting thing that
has happened to you since leaving Blair?
Besides winning non-shared Nobel Prizes in every field, being awarded the Fields Medal, curing cancer, and elminating global warming, I would say the next most interesting thing that happened to me was eating 3 boxes of Pocky in a row, then having Bubble Tea. If you read my previous post about saving energy, this means that I have indirectly saved the world.
Ethan, if there is anything else you need to know, please don't hesitate to ask. Thank you for your interest.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Friday, October 5, 2007
The Food Chain
In the mighty jungle, you don’t eat plants. They eat you.
What. The. Heck. I know we’ve always oohed and aahed over Venus Fly Traps that snap up those pesky, well, flies, but this is something else. These are some seriously carnivorous plants. Instead of the relatively friendly—i.e. small—Venus trappers, these guys are huge. They pack some serious volume.
This guy, for example, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nepenthes, is like a freaking black hole. Just looking at this 3 foot monstrosity makes me feel like I’m gonna die. It LOOKS like it’s just waiting to eat you. Hell, it even has teeth.
And then I found that even the friendly Venus Fly Trap is, well, vicious. These guys, http://www.sarracenia.com/faq/faq2130.html, apparently aren’t single entities. They grow as colonies of voracious chomping machines. Good thing they only evolved to eat bugs. I would hate to get targeted by one of those.
Even scarier, it seems these creatures—for surely something so sinister could not be mere plants—are almost sentient. They have crazy, devious strategies to lure prey into their maws. This marine monster, http://www.sarracenia.com/faq/faq5320.html, lures crustaceans into their disorienting tentacles and BAM—bye bye blue crab. Imagine, strolling alone on your ocean floor, when you wander into this forest of waving thingies—not so bad. Then the next thing you know, you’re lost and getting your guts sucked out.
But the MOST MOST MOST scary of all are these guys: http://www.sarracenia.com/faq/faq5400.html Potentially having vines up to TEN FREAKING METERS long, they look like alien creatures coming to dominate the world and eat us all. Imagine stumbling into one of these guys—you’d have no chance. Before you could say “Devil’s Snare,” you’d be wrapped and gobbled and digested.
Not only are you dead, you died from getting eaten by a freaking plant. Oh the ignominy. Oh the horror. When I go house hunting, I will follow this checklist:
1) Look for potential plant entrances where large toothy vines can sneak in. Block it off and/or plant a fire trap.
2) Look in the attic for Jumanji, and promptly nuke the board to avoid ever having a creepy magical jungle infestation.
3) Block the fireplace for good measure.
When you sleep tonight, watch your backs: your ferns may be more than they seem.
What. The. Heck. I know we’ve always oohed and aahed over Venus Fly Traps that snap up those pesky, well, flies, but this is something else. These are some seriously carnivorous plants. Instead of the relatively friendly—i.e. small—Venus trappers, these guys are huge. They pack some serious volume.
This guy, for example, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nepenthes, is like a freaking black hole. Just looking at this 3 foot monstrosity makes me feel like I’m gonna die. It LOOKS like it’s just waiting to eat you. Hell, it even has teeth.
And then I found that even the friendly Venus Fly Trap is, well, vicious. These guys, http://www.sarracenia.com/faq/faq2130.html, apparently aren’t single entities. They grow as colonies of voracious chomping machines. Good thing they only evolved to eat bugs. I would hate to get targeted by one of those.
Even scarier, it seems these creatures—for surely something so sinister could not be mere plants—are almost sentient. They have crazy, devious strategies to lure prey into their maws. This marine monster, http://www.sarracenia.com/faq/faq5320.html, lures crustaceans into their disorienting tentacles and BAM—bye bye blue crab. Imagine, strolling alone on your ocean floor, when you wander into this forest of waving thingies—not so bad. Then the next thing you know, you’re lost and getting your guts sucked out.
But the MOST MOST MOST scary of all are these guys: http://www.sarracenia.com/faq/faq5400.html Potentially having vines up to TEN FREAKING METERS long, they look like alien creatures coming to dominate the world and eat us all. Imagine stumbling into one of these guys—you’d have no chance. Before you could say “Devil’s Snare,” you’d be wrapped and gobbled and digested.
Not only are you dead, you died from getting eaten by a freaking plant. Oh the ignominy. Oh the horror. When I go house hunting, I will follow this checklist:
1) Look for potential plant entrances where large toothy vines can sneak in. Block it off and/or plant a fire trap.
2) Look in the attic for Jumanji, and promptly nuke the board to avoid ever having a creepy magical jungle infestation.
3) Block the fireplace for good measure.
When you sleep tonight, watch your backs: your ferns may be more than they seem.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Saving The World For Dummies
Pretty sweet, right? But how, you may ask, is this possible? How can everyone save the world? Well, this here guide will tell you how. It's actually very easy. It takes just THREE (3) easy steps. Well, there is that optional extra .1415....of a step, but that's optional.
Now, step one: Get some Pocky. That's right. How can you hope to save the world on an empty stomach? How can you have the motivation to save the world when you don't know what exactly it is you're trying to save? Therefore, eating pocky deserves a whole step to itself. You will be inspired to save Pocky, and therefore the Pocky box, and therefore the creators of Pocky and the box and then, by relation, their relations, etc etc. You get the idea. First Big Idea: Eat Pocky. Save the world.
Step two: Get some Boba. That's Bubble Tea. After munching on all that Pocky, you may find yourself thirsty. Well, bubble tea is just the thing to slake your thirst. The chewy bubbles combined with the delectable liquid makes for the perfect after-Pocky drink. This may also add to your inspiration and motivation
Okay, now here is the optional step: While you do the first two, you may choose to also relax with a bottle of Fiji water and a DVD of the Princess Bride and/or High School Musical. Three in one package! How can you not want to save the world that brought to light such amazing things? But this is optional because the bubble tea and Pocky should have already maxed you out on the inspiration meter.
Now, the final step: Actually saving the world. This is broken up into several steps.
(a) Recycle the cardboard of the Pocky container. And while you're at it, recycle all other paperish recyclables too! Save trees, save energy, just...save. What was that you learned in elementary school? Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. So do it.
(b) Recycle your Boba and/or Fiji water containers. If you can. Every little helps! And watch your movies in the dark to save electricity.
(c) When you run a search, use Blackle.com. This is essentially Google, but on a black screen. Fewer lit pixels = watt hours saved!
(d) Keep recycling. It's not that hard. Keep a recycling bin around at home, and put it out on recycling days! Maybe 10 minutes of your time would be diverted, and you have bought more time for our planet!
(e) Bring your own reusable cloth bag when you go shopping when you can. Unless you have massive loads to buy, at which point you might find it impractical. But if you have to use paper/plastic bags, reuse them later for other things!
(f) When not in a room, turn the light off!
(g) In short, be conscious of how much energy you waste. That's right, a lot of the time you don't even need a lot of the things you think you do. A little care on your part will make you a part of SAVING THE WORLD
Well, you can call me a tree-hugging eco-terrorist, but you'd be wrong. I am just an average citizen who wants to save the world. And YOU can too! Of course, I have only listed obvious and easy things to do. If you're interested in making a difference, use Blackle.com to search for more ways to help preserve our environment. Let's not screw up the planet more than it already is.
And after you're done with saving the world (all in a day's work!), you may recline on your futon--or wherever it is on which you wish to recline--and munch pocky, drink bubble tea, and watch a marathon of your favorite Disney movies + the Princess Bride. While reading Harry Potter! What more could you ask for?
Now, step one: Get some Pocky. That's right. How can you hope to save the world on an empty stomach? How can you have the motivation to save the world when you don't know what exactly it is you're trying to save? Therefore, eating pocky deserves a whole step to itself. You will be inspired to save Pocky, and therefore the Pocky box, and therefore the creators of Pocky and the box and then, by relation, their relations, etc etc. You get the idea. First Big Idea: Eat Pocky. Save the world.
Step two: Get some Boba. That's Bubble Tea. After munching on all that Pocky, you may find yourself thirsty. Well, bubble tea is just the thing to slake your thirst. The chewy bubbles combined with the delectable liquid makes for the perfect after-Pocky drink. This may also add to your inspiration and motivation
Okay, now here is the optional step: While you do the first two, you may choose to also relax with a bottle of Fiji water and a DVD of the Princess Bride and/or High School Musical. Three in one package! How can you not want to save the world that brought to light such amazing things? But this is optional because the bubble tea and Pocky should have already maxed you out on the inspiration meter.
Now, the final step: Actually saving the world. This is broken up into several steps.
(a) Recycle the cardboard of the Pocky container. And while you're at it, recycle all other paperish recyclables too! Save trees, save energy, just...save. What was that you learned in elementary school? Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. So do it.
(b) Recycle your Boba and/or Fiji water containers. If you can. Every little helps! And watch your movies in the dark to save electricity.
(c) When you run a search, use Blackle.com. This is essentially Google, but on a black screen. Fewer lit pixels = watt hours saved!
(d) Keep recycling. It's not that hard. Keep a recycling bin around at home, and put it out on recycling days! Maybe 10 minutes of your time would be diverted, and you have bought more time for our planet!
(e) Bring your own reusable cloth bag when you go shopping when you can. Unless you have massive loads to buy, at which point you might find it impractical. But if you have to use paper/plastic bags, reuse them later for other things!
(f) When not in a room, turn the light off!
(g) In short, be conscious of how much energy you waste. That's right, a lot of the time you don't even need a lot of the things you think you do. A little care on your part will make you a part of SAVING THE WORLD
Well, you can call me a tree-hugging eco-terrorist, but you'd be wrong. I am just an average citizen who wants to save the world. And YOU can too! Of course, I have only listed obvious and easy things to do. If you're interested in making a difference, use Blackle.com to search for more ways to help preserve our environment. Let's not screw up the planet more than it already is.
And after you're done with saving the world (all in a day's work!), you may recline on your futon--or wherever it is on which you wish to recline--and munch pocky, drink bubble tea, and watch a marathon of your favorite Disney movies + the Princess Bride. While reading Harry Potter! What more could you ask for?
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