There exists three things that I fear most:
1) Nuclear Fallout
2) Alien Invasion
3) Asian Parent Karaoke Night
...Not necessarily in that order.
"Shut up, Allen, you weirdo!"
...My co-writer has issues.
Moving on, ("Shut up!") karaoke night ("Allen, I'm gonna kill you!") really is very frightening. From the first tortured screech to the last painful wail, it is comparable to GitMo.
Okay, so maybe I exaggerate a little. But only a little, as my co-writer can testify ("My kidneys hurt.") Thank you, Julie.
Quoth the Raymond, "That's what she said!"
I'm sure the Kurse of the Karaoke doesn't apply only to me. In unfortunate households across the nation, unseemly shrieks of misplaced enthusiasm rise like helium baloons. There must be a solution. There must be some way to solve this unsolvable unsolvability.
But until that day comes, I will go hide in my corner. Shivering. Eating cheesecake. My co-writer tries to encourage me with her words of wisdom: "Allen. I think you'll get eaten by a lion."
There's still hope!!
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Eragon?
Eragon seems to be a rather popular book these days; I mean, they even made a movie of it! (Though I hear it's actually pretty bad.) A lot of people I talk to seem to like the Eragon series. Some give it effusive praise. Am I the only one who intensely dislikes it? (Not hate.)
The guy, Paolini, was young when he wrote it, kudos for that, but in my mind, that is the only thing about Eragon that deserves praise. Though I know I'm not an outstanding writer myself, the writing style of Eragon often seems forced, pretentious even. The dialogue, for example, doesn't feel natural at all. The flow of events, the descriptions, the transitions--they give a discordant sensation. Maybe it's just me, and I'm weird, but I can't immerse myself in the text like other novels. It's hard to say just what is throwing me off, but I can't shake the uncomfortable feeling while reading the book. Maybe it's the inconsistency of speech for each person, or the overly elaborate, pretentiously overdone drama or whatever. Maybe I'm being unfairly critical. But it's food for thought the next time you read the book.
Writing style aside, I find many uncomfortable similarities and parallels with David Eddings' books. I've long been a fan of Eddings, so maybe it's my own prejudice acting up again, but the plot seems very similar to Eddings' Belgariad series. A young boy lives on a farm, happily toiling away as a farmer, unaware of his awesome heritage--descended from important, powerful people. An old man, in the guise of a storyteller, spirits him away, and mentors him as he gains control of his powers. As the young man comes into his own, a girl, a princess of different race, enters his life, and he falls for her. The young man, thrust into a leadership role, must save the world from evil. Sound familiar? Very simplified, probably unfair to Paolini, but like I said, I'm too familiar with Eddings' books to not spot such similarities.
But my main issue remains that the writing style feels undeveloped and juvenile; not at all what one would expect of a hyped novel (at its release.)
The guy, Paolini, was young when he wrote it, kudos for that, but in my mind, that is the only thing about Eragon that deserves praise. Though I know I'm not an outstanding writer myself, the writing style of Eragon often seems forced, pretentious even. The dialogue, for example, doesn't feel natural at all. The flow of events, the descriptions, the transitions--they give a discordant sensation. Maybe it's just me, and I'm weird, but I can't immerse myself in the text like other novels. It's hard to say just what is throwing me off, but I can't shake the uncomfortable feeling while reading the book. Maybe it's the inconsistency of speech for each person, or the overly elaborate, pretentiously overdone drama or whatever. Maybe I'm being unfairly critical. But it's food for thought the next time you read the book.
Writing style aside, I find many uncomfortable similarities and parallels with David Eddings' books. I've long been a fan of Eddings, so maybe it's my own prejudice acting up again, but the plot seems very similar to Eddings' Belgariad series. A young boy lives on a farm, happily toiling away as a farmer, unaware of his awesome heritage--descended from important, powerful people. An old man, in the guise of a storyteller, spirits him away, and mentors him as he gains control of his powers. As the young man comes into his own, a girl, a princess of different race, enters his life, and he falls for her. The young man, thrust into a leadership role, must save the world from evil. Sound familiar? Very simplified, probably unfair to Paolini, but like I said, I'm too familiar with Eddings' books to not spot such similarities.
But my main issue remains that the writing style feels undeveloped and juvenile; not at all what one would expect of a hyped novel (at its release.)
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Inauguration of the Blog
In honor of my URL, this first post is dedicated to that most delicious of foods, the incarnation of ambrosia in the modern world: Pocky.
Though I am still unsure of how to pronounce it--I've heard "Pawky" as well as "Pokey"--it is nevertheless my favorite by far. And, as of this moment, I would like to say that if you have not tasted the unspeakable goodness that is Pocky, you are missing out, and must therefore go forth and seek this Holy Grail of foods.
I don't think there has been a word invented that can adequately convey the perfection of Pocky. It is beyond scrumptious, beyond delectable, beyond any other currently existing word. For example, earlier I said it was delicious. I was wrong. Pocky isn't delicious; delicious is Pocky. If I had to choose only one food for the rest of eternity, Pocky would be that food. If I die, it will be because of over-consumption of Pocky because, obviously, Pocky grants immortality except in excess.
To further demonstrate the power of Pocky, let me relate this anecdote. I was taking a Multivariable Calculus quiz, when I got stuck on a problem. I tried for 10 minutes, and I couldn't discover how to do it; I didn't even know where to start. So I reach into my backpack, take out a pack of Pocky, and start munching. Immediately, an idea hits me! I try it and, voila, I solved the problem in under five minutes.
Therefore, Pocky is amazing.
QED
Though I am still unsure of how to pronounce it--I've heard "Pawky" as well as "Pokey"--it is nevertheless my favorite by far. And, as of this moment, I would like to say that if you have not tasted the unspeakable goodness that is Pocky, you are missing out, and must therefore go forth and seek this Holy Grail of foods.
I don't think there has been a word invented that can adequately convey the perfection of Pocky. It is beyond scrumptious, beyond delectable, beyond any other currently existing word. For example, earlier I said it was delicious. I was wrong. Pocky isn't delicious; delicious is Pocky. If I had to choose only one food for the rest of eternity, Pocky would be that food. If I die, it will be because of over-consumption of Pocky because, obviously, Pocky grants immortality except in excess.
To further demonstrate the power of Pocky, let me relate this anecdote. I was taking a Multivariable Calculus quiz, when I got stuck on a problem. I tried for 10 minutes, and I couldn't discover how to do it; I didn't even know where to start. So I reach into my backpack, take out a pack of Pocky, and start munching. Immediately, an idea hits me! I try it and, voila, I solved the problem in under five minutes.
Therefore, Pocky is amazing.
QED
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)