A second attempt

In order to improve my poem from last time,

I went and found what makes a poem fine,

I learned, above all, that good poems rhyme,

So I will endeavor to do so every line,

And up the poetry ladder I'll climb,

Each attempt will be more sublime,

For example, this poem of mine,

Is better than the last one, right?

Right?

Be my valentine?

Roses are red or other colors,
Violets are violet,
This poem doesn't really rhyme,
And it doesn't really have meter either so it kinda sucks

A Renaissance Man

I came to Yale thinking that I would become more cultured, more educated, more rounded--a true Renaissance man. Thus far, I have not been disappointed by my not unextraordinary progress. My progress has been so great, in fact, that I can now decipher masterpieces of art! Yes, that's right--without taking any art history classes, simply being at Yale has caused the osmosis of art comprehension into my system. However, I understand that not everyone has encountered similar good fortune; I will use my acquired superior comprehension-du-artisticallness to explain some of the most notable pieces of art.

This piece is called Starry Night, by a guy named Vincent Willem Van Gogh, which is Dutch for Vincent-Will-Go-in-Van, and is the definitive piece of evidence that Scientology was NOT invented by L. Ron Hubbard, nor was the Church established in 1952. I have simplified the complexities of the original, and once the obfuscating layers are removed, you can clearly see the devious hidden message. The "stars" are actually symbolic of humans' extraterrestrial origin, perhaps the meteorites on which our ancestors descended. The Temple of Justice stands prominently against the night sky, as if reaching futilely for the immortal existence that we have lost. The assortment of houses in the bottom right represents the woefully ignorant masses, who are unable to appreciate their own glorious history. Van Gogh laments this, yet his painting carries within it an optimistic hope for the revival of the One Religion to Rule Them All (tm).

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This painting is called the Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci. Back in the day, a Vinci was like a title bestowed upon ballers--his name means, essentially, Leonardo the Wicked-awesome-dude. People know him as an inventor, an artist, a genius--but what they don't know is that he was also a historian. He was the chief chronicler of the Saiyan Saga, when the Saiyan race, on the orders of Frieza, tried to take over Earth. In this difficult time, the human race turned to a little boy named Goku, who had proven himself in a tournament called the Tenkaichi Budokai, which means Tournament of Buttkicking. This boy had super powers, could fly, and occasionally glowed with a golden aura. People thought that he had a halo, and was sent by God, a Martian from Namek. After saving the world, Goku had to depart to the Planet of the Gods, in order to save everyone who got killed by the invading Saiyans, and because of his efforts, a miraculous second coming was granted to everyone who died. However, because Goku decided to live a quiet life, others decided to use his deeds for their own purposes. Leonardo, our resident Vinci, decided to stand up to the falsification of history through passive and hidden means--hence, he painted the Last Supper, which actually depicts Goku bidding goodbye to his comrades-in-arms, including Master Roshi (far right.)

Well, I hope you enjoyed this brief lesson. If you would like more paintings explained, please let me know and I will try my best to simplify these things for you. Soon, you too can be a Renaissance Man!!